Partnership is tough.

The amount of advice out there is overwhelming, and it’s hard to think clearly when we feel the cord fraying with the most important person in our life.  The ability for the human brain to produce a cacophony of  immense emotions when our relationship is struggling can be incredibly debilitating. We can get lost in horrible stories about our partners, become hopeless, act out, collapse in ourselves, think and do things that are utterly at odds with who we know we are, or how we want to act in this world.  It's one of the most fundamentally hard human experiences - that such strong, negative emotions can come up with the person we love most in the world.

The science of attachment offers a clear lens to understand these challenging behaviours and feelings, and predictable, navigable pathways out of them.  When we build understanding of why we think and feel in these ways, we can begin to approach ourselves with kindness. We can begin to chart new courses of action that are in line with how we want to act in this world.  We can learn to respond, rather than react. To act with love even when it's really, really hard.  Relationships are vital in this world, and a lot of folks weren't taught the skills to manage them, and didn't have healthy parents to model after.  

While I have a general practice, I specialize in working with couples where significant trauma and mental illness is present, attachment trauma disorders such as Borderline Personality Disorder exist, or when domestic violence has occurred.